Category Archives: Life

An Explanation

Hello world,

Earlier this summer, I was having a major meltdown to say the least. I felt as if everything that I was planning was crumbling beneath me. And I’m a planner. I can’t couldn’t have my life in shambles. And so I was insanely stressed, and it was apparent in everything that I wrote. So I just needed to stop writing.

But I’ve learned from this summer. I’ve gained new patience, understanding and peace. It was definitely a time of soul searching and prayer, and now all is right with the world. Well, not really, but I’m doing a much better job of handling the madness that was, is and will always be my life.

Thank you for your patience. I’m BACK! ūüėÄ

-Jacinda<3

Congrats!

This weekend my brother graduated from University of Arkansas School of Law! I couldn’t possibly be more proud. Watching him overcome obstacles and still come out with his head held up high and an incredibledegree gives me inspiration to keep going! Never give up! God can always make a way, and if you follow Him, He will help you reach your goals! Keep moving.

This year my older brother graduated from law school, my younger brother will graduate from high school, my cousin and my uncle from grad school, and I will graduate from college! It is a great educational year for us!

The graduate and I! (:

College Bucket List

Howdy! I know I haven’t really been keeping up with this blog, and I deeply apologize. But that’s the beauty of a blog right? There’s no rules, and I can do what I want so I’m not going to act like I’m going to start doing better because I might, but I might not. Shrug.

But on to the topic at hand. For those of you who have read my blog, you may know that I will be graduating from college in December. I’ve come to terms with the fact that my college career is ending. It’s been an amazing three years so far, and I definitely want to milk this college experience for all it’s worth. Once it’s over, it is really over so I made a bucket list of sorts that I want to do before December 14th. Some of it is completely ridiculous, lame, nerdy, weird. Don’t judge me.

  1. Go out bar/club hopping in a new city and speak with only a foreign accent.
  2. Go to a drive in movie!
  3. Go to a concert. (I’ve never been to a real concert for a major artist before)
  4. Run a 5k. (I’m not a runner so this will definitely be a task!)
  5. Take a picture with Reveille and Dr. Loftin! (Only an Aggie will understand why)
  6. Road trip to somewhere outside of the state.
  7. Take a spur of the moment trip. Go on southwest and find some cheap tickets and just GO!
  8. Play a prank on someone and put it on youtube!
  9. Go pond hopping (Another Aggie thing).
  10. Pamper myself for an entire weekend– Stay in a nice hotel, take myself out for a fancy dinner, get a massage, etc.
  11. Publicly sing karaoke. Badly. With Dancing.
  12. Skydive.Bungee Jump. Something insane.–I really want to do it!
  13. See a musical.
  14. Go to a rodeo.
  15. Hit on a random stranger.
  16. Buy some expensive alcohol and see if it’s really worth it.
  17. Give at least $100 to charity.
  18. Send someone flowers for no reason.
  19. Where a shirt that says life and hand out lemons on campus!
  20. Leave random notes on cars.
  21. Paintball.
  22. Go salsa dancing.
  23. Learn to belly dance.
  24. Solve a Rubik Cube.. This may never happen :/
  25. Find love…………….. (lol yeah, I’m completely joking with this one)

I know I’m pretty lame lol, but these are just some random things that I thought about doing. Anyone else have any suggestions for things I should do before I leave college??

Lessons Learned (or in progress)

1. Be grateful. No matter what is going wrong, there is ALWAYS a reason to give thanks. You might not have everything you want…You might not even have everything you need. But as long as you’re still breathing, there is a chance to make something better, and that is something to be grateful for.

2. Don’t wait on the “right time”. You may never feel completely ready when an opportunity presents itself, but don’t be afraid to go for it. Some things are once in a lifetime, and if you keep waiting for this non-existent perfect time, you may miss your opportunity completely. Stop being scared and live life.¬†Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

3. Be happy with yourself. If you aren’t happy with you, then you can’t expect anybody else to change that. Date yourself for a while. Learn about who you are and what brings you joy and embrace those things. Only when you are truly happy will you successfully be able to join your life with another.

4. Steer clear of the green eyed monster. If you’re constantly comparing your life, your appearance, your job, your bank account, etc., to another, you will always be mad. There will ALWAYS be someone who has a bigger house, a nicer car, looks better, or has more money. Don’t worry about what everyone else has. Just enjoy what YOU have.

5. Don’t focus on what you don’t want to happen. If you spend all of your time stressing about what could go wrong, you’ll miss what goes right. Stop over-analyzing everything. Just stop. It is not doing you any good.Thinking too much will just create problems that weren’t even there in the first place.

6.Everyone is not going to love you. When there are people in your life that don’t wish you the best, they bring down your spirit. Let the Negative Nellies fly out of your life. Don’t get me wrong, you need people who will be honest with you. But you DON’T need someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart.

7. Be patient and flexible. Everything is NOT going to happen exactly when you want it. Don’t try so hard to stick to that 10 year plan that you made. It is good to have goals, but remember that everything happens for a reason. Just because it doesn’t happen when you think it should doesn’t mean that it won’t happen at all.

8. The best things in life are free. Honestly, I have never had much money. I’ve struggled to pay bills. I’ve taken the bus because I couldn’t afford gas. I’ve cried because I didn’t know how I would get by. But the things in life that truly stick with me are the days spent with family when I couldn’t stop laughing or the lying in the arms of a loved one. You don’t have to have a lot of material things in order to have happiness.

Poetry..

So I don’t typically share what I write, but I just feel like the blogging world is a safe place. (:

Fear

I’m afraid.

I admit it.

And I don’t want to let go of that fear

because the last time I did,

heartbreak came and pushed me into a sea of pain and despair.

I felt like I’d been throttled full blast into the depths of hell.

I hate that pain.

So I’ll stay afraid.

I don’t even want to ask to find out where your heart lies.

And I sure as hell don’t want to assume and make an ass out of you,

well, pretty much just me.

I can’t even fully admit to myself that I want you for fear that

that admission would just pay my admission back into that sea of hell

so I remain afraid.

In my mind,

fear is better than pain,

hope is better than rain,

so I’ll remain silent.

If things never change so be it.

I’ll be fine alone.

Maybe a little crazy,

and at times, a little lonely,

but I’ll be just fine alone.

Enjoy Life.

Over the last couple days, I’ve had several experiences that have just shook me to the core. Death is lurking behind every door. Life is short. I feel like sometimes I get so caught up in all the daily activities in life that I’m not stopping to truly find some joy in each day.

I let exams, papers, meetings, responsibilities and work clutter my present.  Worries, fears, stress, and concerns cloud my future. My past filled with possibly questionable decisions flood all of it. So when am I really enjoying life?

Over the last few days, I’ve just been¬†reminiscing on the last few months in my life, and I think I need to change how I proceed in life. Not just plan for the future or wonder about if I made the right decision in my past, but truly enjoy my present.

I’m not going to lie and say that I’ll stop planning or thinking. I can’t stop; it’s a part of who I am. But I can choose to trust a little easier, love a little deeper, let go of fear and go after what I want. I can choose to not OVER-analyze¬†every decision and not be so skeptical of others. And I can choose to let everyone in my life how much I appreciate, love, need, and enjoy them each and every time that I get a chance.

God’s Chisel Remastered

Skit Guys – God’s Chisel Remastered

They played this video after the sermon at church on Sunday, and I really wanted to share it. It’s not too long so if you have a few minutes, please check it out!

Can we just be friends, please?

Currently, I have no close platonic friendships. I don’t have any close guy friends that are completely unromantic; either we’ve dated or tried to date each other.I’m honestly not really sure how to make a male friend. I can’t be friendly without seeming flirtatious, and I feel like most men my age are always trying to find the next girl to get in their bed.

Call me crazy, but I just want to have a good guy friend again.

Each man I meet automatically tries to get me into bed, and I don’t know if that has something to do with me and how I’m acting or if that’s just the horny-ness of 21-24 year old men.

Sometimes I’ll tell them I’m only looking for friendship, and I’ll never hear from them again. Others still pursue me relentlessly.¬†Even still, sometimes the breech of the platonic friendship comes from me, but hey, it happens (:

The question still remains: Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship? And if so, where can I get one?

Drifting away……

Do you ever feel like you’re drifting away from the world around you? Like you’re not that close to your best friends anymore? There’s always jokes you don’t understand, or stories from when you weren’t present? People that you once felt you couldn’t live without feeling like strangers?

 

Yeah, me too.

 
Don’t get me wrong. I still love each person that is in my life, and I know they care as well (at least I hope they do). But lately, I feel like things are changing. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older and focusing more on the future. Maybe it’s because some of my friends participate in activities that I’d rather not. Maybe I’m just changing as a person. I’m not sure what’s happening, but it feels like I’m at one of those crazy forks in the road that you see in cartoons or life metaphors. The problem is that I can’t stand the uncertainty of not knowing where either road leads.

 

People are like sand at the beach.. There’s tons of them. You gather a few and you can build something great, but somehow it can always be washed away..

Demand Respect…

Alright, I just wanted to touch on something that I’ve noticed lately: women allowing disrespect.

I’ve seen/heard comments like “All boyfriends cheat, you just have to accept that”, “Men will be men”, and “As long as he comes back to me at the end of the day, I don’t care who else he does”. Ladies, this is NOT acceptable. Comments, such as these, are merely excusing the horrid behavior. Realize your worth, and do not allow someone to disrespect you. You should wait for a man who will honor you and treat you like a queen. I know you’re thinking, what fairytale world does this chick live in? And I ask you to consider what I’m saying if only for a moment. Why should you be subjected to harsh treatment just to have “love”? Just to have someone to come home to at night? Is it really worth it if that someone doesn’t respect you, continuously sleeps around, breaks your heart, and abuses your trust? YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! Don’t let anyone make you think that this situation is the best you can ever get. ¬†Be confident, demand respect and truly be loved.