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Sigh.. sigh… sigh…….

The amount of self doubt I’ve been feeling lately is growing exponentially. The fear of graduation and the unknown plus the complete and utter failure that is the internship that I currently have is making me crazy/depressed. On paper, this summer was going to be great. In reality, nothing is going well.

I have never really been the girl who can just live and let live. I can have spontaneous moments or days, but when it comes to major life choices I will analyze the hell out of every possibility. My days are filled with pro/con lists; my nights are filled with worry.

I’ve been “passionate” about several different things throughout my college career. And the fact that my goals can change so much so easily makes me wonder if I really want any of it at all. Life has never confused me as much as it does now.

Yes, I’m quite aware that this feeling is “normal”. I understand that many soon-to-be grads feel this way. Especially those with a liberal arts major that doesn’t completely give them a definite career path (maybe I should have been an engineer? ha!) But knowing these facts doesn’t make this any less trying.

Please pray for me as I continue on this journey. God is the only truth that I have.


College Bucket List

Howdy! I know I haven’t really been keeping up with this blog, and I deeply apologize. But that’s the beauty of a blog right? There’s no rules, and I can do what I want so I’m not going to act like I’m going to start doing better because I might, but I might not. Shrug.

But on to the topic at hand. For those of you who have read my blog, you may know that I will be graduating from college in December. I’ve come to terms with the fact that my college career is ending. It’s been an amazing three years so far, and I definitely want to milk this college experience for all it’s worth. Once it’s over, it is really over so I made a bucket list of sorts that I want to do before December 14th. Some of it is completely ridiculous, lame, nerdy, weird. Don’t judge me.

  1. Go out bar/club hopping in a new city and speak with only a foreign accent.
  2. Go to a drive in movie!
  3. Go to a concert. (I’ve never been to a real concert for a major artist before)
  4. Run a 5k. (I’m not a runner so this will definitely be a task!)
  5. Take a picture with Reveille and Dr. Loftin! (Only an Aggie will understand why)
  6. Road trip to somewhere outside of the state.
  7. Take a spur of the moment trip. Go on southwest and find some cheap tickets and just GO!
  8. Play a prank on someone and put it on youtube!
  9. Go pond hopping (Another Aggie thing).
  10. Pamper myself for an entire weekend– Stay in a nice hotel, take myself out for a fancy dinner, get a massage, etc.
  11. Publicly sing karaoke. Badly. With Dancing.
  12. Skydive.Bungee Jump. Something insane.–I really want to do it!
  13. See a musical.
  14. Go to a rodeo.
  15. Hit on a random stranger.
  16. Buy some expensive alcohol and see if it’s really worth it.
  17. Give at least $100 to charity.
  18. Send someone flowers for no reason.
  19. Where a shirt that says life and hand out lemons on campus!
  20. Leave random notes on cars.
  21. Paintball.
  22. Go salsa dancing.
  23. Learn to belly dance.
  24. Solve a Rubik Cube.. This may never happen :/
  25. Find love…………….. (lol yeah, I’m completely joking with this one)

I know I’m pretty lame lol, but these are just some random things that I thought about doing. Anyone else have any suggestions for things I should do before I leave college??

AHHHHH…career fairs.

I am a Communication major with a minor in Sociology, and I will be entering the real world December 2012. To my surprise, everyone was right when they said that college would go by quickly. I really can’t believe that it’s coming so soon.

And anybody who knows me, talks to me, or eavesdrops on any of my conversations I’ve had recently, knows that the truth has hit me. Hard. IN THE FACE! I’m going to be graduating very soon, and unless millions of dollars are going to magically appear in my bank account, I’m going to need a job to sustain myself.

Because of this abuse that I’ve been experiencing from this little trick named reality, I went to a career fair today. Thankfully, my school has one of the best career centers around so they are able to provide many opportunities such as this fair. Last night filled with angst, I researched the companies that would be represented and proceeded to have what some might call a psychological meltdown AKA I was freaking out. There was so much to read and so many decisions to make.

But this morning, I woke with a breath of calm. God, himself, was the only one who could have given me this peace. I was able to network with some great people and learn about some potential internships for the summer so I’m well on my way to success. I’m still unsure about my future, but the events of my day were able to restore my confidence in my abilities. No, everything did not go perfectly. I had a wardrobe malfunction, I was caught in the rain, I was splashed by a biker, and I didn’t find the job of my dreams. But I’ll get there. One step at a time. . .