There is a show on VH1 called Chrissy & Mr. Jones, and even though I haven’t watched all the episodes, their situation got me thinking.
Basically, Chrissy Lampkin and Jim Jones have been together for over 8 years. On Love & Hip Hop, she proposed to him and he didn’t really say yes. About a year later, he proposed, and now they are engaged. They have been engaged for some time and have lived together for years.
She is somewhere around 40, and he’s 36. And they still aren’t married. In a recent episode, she’s trying to freeze her eggs so they can have children when they eventually get married, but she says that they’re not ready to get married any time soon.
In my mind, they will never get married. If y’all living like you’re married for years, and you’re still “not ready”, what makes you think you’ll ever get married? And at the end of the day, all I can hear is my mama’s voice in my head saying “he’ll never buy the cow if he can get the milk for free”.
For me personally, I can’t imagine staying with someone who can’t see himself married to me. If you can’t make that commitment, why are we still together? Just for kicks? for laughs? That’s not enough for me. But maybe, that’s just me.
My question to the men out there, do you feel the want to marry your girlfriend after y’all have been together/lived together for years? Or does it feel more like an obligation/requirement just to keep her happy?
And to the women, would you be okay with a situation like this? Or at the end of the day, do you still expect to get married?
I’m really curious to hear what people have to say about this issue.
So I don’t typically share what I write, but I just feel like the blogging world is a safe place. (:
I admit it.
And I don’t want to let go of that fear
because the last time I did,
heartbreak came and pushed me into a sea of pain and despair.
I felt like I’d been throttled full blast into the depths of hell.
I hate that pain.
So I’ll stay afraid.
I don’t even want to ask to find out where your heart lies.
And I sure as hell don’t want to assume and make an ass out of
well, pretty much just me.
I can’t even fully admit to myself that I want you for fear that
that admission would just pay my admission back into that sea of hell
so I remain afraid.
In my mind,
fear is better than pain,
hope is better than rain,
so I’ll remain silent.
If things never change so be it.
I’ll be fine alone.
Maybe a little crazy,
and at times, a little lonely,
but I’ll be just fine alone.
Alright, I just wanted to touch on something that I’ve noticed lately: women allowing disrespect.
I’ve seen/heard comments like “All boyfriends cheat, you just have to accept that”, “Men will be men”, and “As long as he comes back to me at the end of the day, I don’t care who else he does”. Ladies, this is NOT acceptable. Comments, such as these, are merely excusing the horrid behavior. Realize your worth, and do not allow someone to disrespect you. You should wait for a man who will honor you and treat you like a queen. I know you’re thinking, what fairytale world does this chick live in? And I ask you to consider what I’m saying if only for a moment. Why should you be subjected to harsh treatment just to have “love”? Just to have someone to come home to at night? Is it really worth it if that someone doesn’t respect you, continuously sleeps around, breaks your heart, and abuses your trust? YOU ARE WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT! Don’t let anyone make you think that this situation is the best you can ever get. Be confident, demand respect and truly be loved.