Earlier this summer, I was having a major meltdown to say the least. I felt as if everything that I was planning was crumbling beneath me. And I’m a planner. I
can’t couldn’t have my life in shambles. And so I was insanely stressed, and it was apparent in everything that I wrote. So I just needed to stop writing.
But I’ve learned from this summer. I’ve gained new patience, understanding and peace. It was definitely a time of soul searching and prayer, and now all is right with the world. Well, not really, but I’m doing a much better job of handling the madness that was, is and will always be my life.
Thank you for your patience. I’m BACK! 😀
The amount of self doubt I’ve been feeling lately is growing exponentially. The fear of graduation and the unknown plus the complete and utter failure that is the internship that I currently have is making me crazy/depressed. On paper, this summer was going to be great. In reality, nothing is going well.
I have never really been the girl who can just live and let live. I can have spontaneous moments or days, but when it comes to major life choices I will analyze the hell out of every possibility. My days are filled with pro/con lists; my nights are filled with worry.
I’ve been “passionate” about several different things throughout my college career. And the fact that my goals can change so much so easily makes me wonder if I really want any of it at all. Life has never confused me as much as it does now.
Yes, I’m quite aware that this feeling is “normal”. I understand that many soon-to-be grads feel this way. Especially those with a liberal arts major that doesn’t completely give them a definite career path (maybe I should have been an engineer? ha!) But knowing these facts doesn’t make this any less trying.
Please pray for me as I continue on this journey. God is the only truth that I have.