There is a show on VH1 called Chrissy & Mr. Jones, and even though I haven’t watched all the episodes, their situation got me thinking.
Basically, Chrissy Lampkin and Jim Jones have been together for over 8 years. On Love & Hip Hop, she proposed to him and he didn’t really say yes. About a year later, he proposed, and now they are engaged. They have been engaged for some time and have lived together for years.
She is somewhere around 40, and he’s 36. And they still aren’t married. In a recent episode, she’s trying to freeze her eggs so they can have children when they eventually get married, but she says that they’re not ready to get married any time soon.
In my mind, they will never get married. If y’all living like you’re married for years, and you’re still “not ready”, what makes you think you’ll ever get married? And at the end of the day, all I can hear is my mama’s voice in my head saying “he’ll never buy the cow if he can get the milk for free”.
For me personally, I can’t imagine staying with someone who can’t see himself married to me. If you can’t make that commitment, why are we still together? Just for kicks? for laughs? That’s not enough for me. But maybe, that’s just me.
My question to the men out there, do you feel the want to marry your girlfriend after y’all have been together/lived together for years? Or does it feel more like an obligation/requirement just to keep her happy?
And to the women, would you be okay with a situation like this? Or at the end of the day, do you still expect to get married?
I’m really curious to hear what people have to say about this issue.
Howdy! I know I haven’t really been keeping up with this blog, and I deeply apologize. But that’s the beauty of a blog right? There’s no rules, and I can do what I want so I’m not going to act like I’m going to start doing better because I might, but I might not. Shrug.
But on to the topic at hand. For those of you who have read my blog, you may know that I will be graduating from college in December. I’ve come to terms with the fact that my college career is ending. It’s been an amazing three years so far, and I definitely want to milk this college experience for all it’s worth. Once it’s over, it is really over so I made a bucket list of sorts that I want to do before December 14th. Some of it is completely ridiculous, lame, nerdy, weird. Don’t judge me.
- Go out bar/club hopping in a new city and speak with only a foreign accent.
- Go to a drive in movie!
- Go to a concert. (I’ve never been to a real concert for a major artist before)
- Run a 5k. (I’m not a runner so this will definitely be a task!)
- Take a picture with Reveille and Dr. Loftin! (Only an Aggie will understand why)
- Road trip to somewhere outside of the state.
- Take a spur of the moment trip. Go on southwest and find some cheap tickets and just GO!
- Play a prank on someone and put it on youtube!
- Go pond hopping (Another Aggie thing).
- Pamper myself for an entire weekend– Stay in a nice hotel, take myself out for a fancy dinner, get a massage, etc.
- Publicly sing karaoke. Badly. With Dancing.
- Skydive.Bungee Jump. Something insane.–I really want to do it!
- See a musical.
- Go to a rodeo.
- Hit on a random stranger.
- Buy some expensive alcohol and see if it’s really worth it.
- Give at least $100 to charity.
- Send someone flowers for no reason.
- Where a shirt that says life and hand out lemons on campus!
- Leave random notes on cars.
- Go salsa dancing.
- Learn to belly dance.
- Solve a Rubik Cube.. This may never happen
- Find love…………….. (lol yeah, I’m completely joking with this one)
I know I’m pretty lame lol, but these are just some random things that I thought about doing. Anyone else have any suggestions for things I should do before I leave college??
1. Be grateful. No matter what is going wrong, there is ALWAYS a reason to give thanks. You might not have everything you want…You might not even have everything you need. But as long as you’re still breathing, there is a chance to make something better, and that is something to be grateful for.
2. Don’t wait on the “right time”. You may never feel completely ready when an opportunity presents itself, but don’t be afraid to go for it. Some things are once in a lifetime, and if you keep waiting for this non-existent perfect time, you may miss your opportunity completely. Stop being scared and live life. Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.
3. Be happy with yourself. If you aren’t happy with you, then you can’t expect anybody else to change that. Date yourself for a while. Learn about who you are and what brings you joy and embrace those things. Only when you are truly happy will you successfully be able to join your life with another.
4. Steer clear of the green eyed monster. If you’re constantly comparing your life, your appearance, your job, your bank account, etc., to another, you will always be mad. There will ALWAYS be someone who has a bigger house, a nicer car, looks better, or has more money. Don’t worry about what everyone else has. Just enjoy what YOU have.
5. Don’t focus on what you don’t want to happen. If you spend all of your time stressing about what could go wrong, you’ll miss what goes right. Stop over-analyzing everything. Just stop. It is not doing you any good.Thinking too much will just create problems that weren’t even there in the first place.
6.Everyone is not going to love you. When there are people in your life that don’t wish you the best, they bring down your spirit. Let the Negative Nellies fly out of your life. Don’t get me wrong, you need people who will be honest with you. But you DON’T need someone who doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
7. Be patient and flexible. Everything is NOT going to happen exactly when you want it. Don’t try so hard to stick to that 10 year plan that you made. It is good to have goals, but remember that everything happens for a reason. Just because it doesn’t happen when you think it should doesn’t mean that it won’t happen at all.
8. The best things in life are free. Honestly, I have never had much money. I’ve struggled to pay bills. I’ve taken the bus because I couldn’t afford gas. I’ve cried because I didn’t know how I would get by. But the things in life that truly stick with me are the days spent with family when I couldn’t stop laughing or the lying in the arms of a loved one. You don’t have to have a lot of material things in order to have happiness.
Currently, I have no close platonic friendships. I don’t have any close guy friends that are completely unromantic; either we’ve dated or tried to date each other.I’m honestly not really sure how to make a male friend. I can’t be friendly without seeming flirtatious, and I feel like most men my age are always trying to find the next girl to get in their bed.
Call me crazy, but I just want to have a good guy friend again.
Each man I meet automatically tries to get me into bed, and I don’t know if that has something to do with me and how I’m acting or if that’s just the horny-ness of 21-24 year old men.
Sometimes I’ll tell them I’m only looking for friendship, and I’ll never hear from them again. Others still pursue me relentlessly. Even still, sometimes the breech of the platonic friendship comes from me, but hey, it happens (:
The question still remains: Is there such a thing as a platonic relationship? And if so, where can I get one?